How to Deal With an Alcoholic Parent

Disclaimer: This article is meant for informational and educational purposes only, and is not meant to replace expert advice. If your parent is struggling with alcohol use, you can reach out to a trusted adult or a mental health specialist. If you feel unsafe, call 9-1-1 in the U.S. or your local emergency helpline immediately.

The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA) reports that 27.9 million struggle with alcohol use disorder in the U.S. These are not just some faraway statistics; they serve as very real reminders that sometimes children are forced to shoulder burdens far too heavy for their years.

In these moments, children of alcoholic parents do not understand the extent of damage this reversal of roles leads to. At the NuView Treatment Center, we acknowledge that this struggle is a lived reality for many and hope to shed light on the effects of alcoholism, not only for those who struggle, but also for the children who carry the weight and for families who can find healing through recovery.

Living with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder (or alcohol addiction) is difficult. It may impact how a child feels and behaves, such as:

• Fearful

• Embarrassed

• Angry

• Worried about their parent’s health

• Anxious or depressed

• Tries harder not to upset the parent - always walking on eggshells

• Covers up and protects their parent from consequences

• Struggles with academics or at jobs

• Takes on responsibilities far beyond their age, like looking after younger siblings, household chores, and so on.

While it may be common to experience these as the child of an alcoholic parent, it is crucial to remember that this is not okay and can become very overwhelming for you to navigate on your own.

If you are a child of an alcoholic parent(s), reaching out to other trusted family members or friends can be healthy for you. In fact, you can also speak with an expert, like a school/college counselor or a mental health practitioner. Remember to never neglect your own safety and well-being.

While children of alcoholic parents often face significant emotional and psychological challenges, families of alcoholics as a whole can also be deeply impacted by the ripple effects of their loved one's struggles.

Common ways in which family life can be affected where alcohol is involved are:

• The alcoholic parent may neglect or even abuse their spouse and children

• The alcoholic parent may neglect their household responsibilities, which may lead to children taking over responsibilities that are too much for their age

• The alcoholic parent may find it difficult to hold a job or spend their finances on alcohol, hence there is not always enough money

• Fights and arguments become common.

• Parental separation or divorce can also happen

• Children can be separated from the alcoholic parent

• Relatives can step in to handle the alcoholic parent or to handle the tasks.

If your or your loved ones’ safety is jeopardized in any way, call emergency providers like 9-1-1 in the U.S. or your local emergency numbers immediately.

If you are living with a parent who has an alcohol use disorder, here are some things you can do:

- Speak to Someone: Speak to a trusted family member, friend, or an expert, like a school counselor. Open up to them - let them know what you are having to deal with at home. They can offer you comfort and practical direction as to what you can do.

- Join a Support Group: Join support groups like Al-Anon Family Groups or Alateen that offer hope and help for families and loved ones. They offer a safe setting for you to share, listen, and learn, and also a strong community that you can rely on.

- Build Healthier Habits: Understand that none of this is your fault. At the same time, it is also healthy to build healthier habits like sharing your emotions with trusted loved ones and building dependable relationships outside your immediate family. At the same time, reaching out to mental health specialists for psychotherapy or counseling can also facilitate healing.

- Prioritize Your Safety: If you find you are unsafe at home, then prioritize your safety or call 9-1-1 in the U.S. or your local emergency numbers.

- Understand the Effect of Alcohol on You: Peer-reviewed studies have indicated that children of alcoholics can be at a higher risk of alcoholism or substance use as well. Understanding this and seeking therapy or support groups can prevent the cycle from repeating.

As a concerned loved one, there are some steps you can take to ensure your parent gets the care they need and deserve. When they are sober and relaxed, call upon a trusted adult and speak with them regarding the effects of alcoholism on them and their family. Do not blame or shame them, but note down your observations. Encourage them to seek treatment.

You can also reach out to NuView and speak with mental health specialists who can break through defenses and reach out to your parent.

We also offer structured and flexible outpatient programs so that your parent can focus on their recovery while staying connected to their family. Our programs are:

• Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP): PHP offers a higher level of intensive care for severe alcohol use.

• Intensive Outpatient Programs (IOP): IOP offers a greater degree of flexibility and can be considered for mild to moderate alcohol use or while stepping down from PHP.

• Telehealth Services: They provide virtual treatment services when appropriate.

Please do not hesitate to call us at (323) 307-7997; we see you, and we want to hear from you.

Can setting boundaries with an alcoholic parent make things worse?

Healthy boundaries can feel uncomfortable or even unnatural at first, but they reduce chaos and protect your emotional well-being over time.

Is it okay to distance yourself from an alcoholic parent?

Creating distance, emotionally or physically, when necessary, is okay to maintain your safety and mental health.

Can growing up with an alcoholic parent impact my future?

Growing up with an alcoholic parent can impact attachment patterns and lead to a greater risk of substance use, but self-awareness and counseling can help build healthier relationships.

Are there ways to get support without involving family?

Support groups like Al-Anon, Alateen, and online forums offer confidential support without family involvement.

How can I reach out to NuView to take action for my parent’s recovery?

You can contact NuView Treatment Center at (323) 307-7997 directly to speak with specialists who can offer practical support with the next steps.